Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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