i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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