first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
