not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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