Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
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HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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