Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
