Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
