I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
