I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
