Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
