I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
