You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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