I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I got inside last night via doggy door
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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