i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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