someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Found your dick twin last night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
