they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
