We're like a lot better than the average bears
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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