How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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