Barsexuality is the new black.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
