I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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