he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I am available for nakedness
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
