FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
