Define "chronic" masturbator.
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
