I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
