How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
