I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
