Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
