I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
