You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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