Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
worst night to have a conscience
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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