i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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