he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
