saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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