Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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