hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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