I puked a lego.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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