I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
