I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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