party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
