He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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