So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
