you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
