The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
