there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
