somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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