My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize