i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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