Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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