I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??