Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.