This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
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just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low