Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
