Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
