I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
