Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
