wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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