It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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